Behind Maria's Mind

     When I was in high school I was going through a really hard time. My parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce and it was so hard getting up every day and plastering on a fake smile in front of my teachers, friends and classmates. It was the reason it was hard for me to hold on to some of my closest friends and the main reason I started smoking marijuana in high school. The entire experience was really traumatizing and is the reason I still have panic attacks and deal with a lot of anxiety. I'm so grateful now that I have the support of my boyfriend, friends and brothers once I was finally able to open up. I still struggle a lot of with my insecurities. To name one of the many, I'm short. There never seems to be a shortage of people who will jokingly call me out on it and for the most part, I've learned to tune it out and act like it doesn't bother me, but all it takes is a bad day for me to feel horrible about it and make me wish I could change that about myself. It's easy to say "embrace your insecurities" but it's a million times harder to actually do that. I've learnt ways to cope with my anxiety and have a positive outlook on life although it can be hard. It's something I continue to work hard at everyday.