Behind Sureka's Mind

TW; DISORDERED EATING 

Having always been in a big body, disordered eating was constantly pushed on me as something to help me become healthier. I was told to drink a glass of water before I ate so I'd feel fuller faster. I was encouraged to skip meals and cut out carbs. I was told to avoid what was unnecessary even if it was what made me happy. All of this was told to me under the guise of concern for my health. Funny thing is, I don't have any weight-related health issues but doing some of the things people wanted me to do would impact my health negatively. But I heard it everyday and felt so much shame wanting to order dessert with my meal or when I felt so hungry at night that I needed a snack to tie me over. For years, I was so afraid to eat in front of people for fear of judgement, fear of what they'd think about a fat girl having dessert on her own or any food for that matter. It took me way too long to realize that I know how to nourish my body best and what others think shouldn't make me withhold food from my own body. All of our bodies deserve food, unconditionally. It doesn't need to be earned or based on what others think and that's what we need to remember.